Ringy Dingy Ding Ding

“This is Katie…[pause to listen] Oh, hi Cindy, I’m in the middle of a pedicure at Ira’s, I’ll call you back after my latte, buh-bye.” Katie, do Cindy a favor and don’t answer the phone. Have you ever heard of voice mail?

Being a gregarious denizen of the Big Easy I can understand the addictive nature of digital chit-chat. I accept that cell phones are an integral thread in our urban adventure; however, there is one simple thing that I do not understand. Why is it that some cell phone users will answer their phones when they can’t talk to you?

“Listen… I’m in a meeting right now, can I back to you?” If you are in a meeting then why on earth are you answering the phone to begin with?! Is it that you can’t figure out how to turn the volume down? Or that when the phone rings you don’t have enough understanding to know that the big button with the word ‘END’ on it is the way to shut off a ringing phone?

Here’s a tip: If you are too busy or involved to speak to the person who is calling you, DON’T ANSWER THE PHONE. In fact, in some cases just leave the phone in your car. Now there’s a novel idea!

Masters of the Obvious Part I - Children need time with Mom

These blog posts will feature news from the Masters of the Obvious - those lovely folks who present findings and studies and comments to the public at large as if they've discovered something that we didn't already know.

Here is our first gem.


Childcare choices impact kids’ achievement:
Study finds being at home with mom or at pre-school are best options

We can see the genius of our family-hating culture expressed so vividly in these contrasting comments. Take exhibit A.

“Loosely speaking, it would be better if mothers could spend more time with children in the first few years after birth, because the relatively small amount of money they can earn in those years (compared to their lifetime income), isn’t going to make nearly as much difference for the child’s outcomes as the mother’s time input would make,” Keane told Reuters Health.

Now observe Exhibit B.

Bernal added, “We do not advocate for women to stay at home, but rather for policies to be designed in such a way that we can provide women with the types of daycare that can benefit children, with subsidies or with on-site daycare centers.”

You ever get the feeling that a bird knows more about truth in parenting than we do?

Water, Water, Everywhere ...

They’re everywhere; at the mall, in the car, at the store, on the kitchen counter, in the pews at church, at the park, by the pond, at the seminar, anywhere a human is, there, they shall be. No, I’m not speaking about the glorious cellular phone that at times seems to be biologically fused to everyone’s hand and ear. I am speaking about the water bottle.

Like an oat bran tornado the ‘drink water’ crowd has taken up residence and they are certainly showing no signs that they are slowing for the markets keep on growing. Unlike a delicious Wonka bar expansion our obsession with drinking water has brought a new level of annoyance to the social gathering.

Health reasons notwithstanding, the ‘feed my thirst’ brigade has infiltrated our social fabric and the mildew is spreading. Barely can one have a conversation without them pausing ever so trendily to sip on the spout of their favorite water bottle. This aqua-feeding is almost as annoying as the backpack craze where people of all ages carry around half of their earthly possessions in frameless packs looking like vagabond despots heading into exile.

Hyponatremians beware. Trends come and go, but living on the edge as a bloated amphibian may be fatal. If the Lord wanted us to consume that much water through constant sipping he would have given us trunks for noses. If you feel the need to join the water craze please have enough courtesy to sip in private and the next time you order a water, no ice, with lemon at lunch, I’m going to call your cell phone from across the table.

Hypothetical Entomological Dominion

If cockroaches could scream we would not crush them under foot.

From the Mouths of Babes - "My baby soup!"

All the girls were getting dressed for a summer time romp in the inflatable kids’ pool when all of a sudden from down the hallway emerged the rapidly approaching giggle. Turning my head I saw Ruby bouncing and bobbing about like a feline on a catnip overdose as she ran straight past my chair and into the kitchen. Asking her where she was going she spun around in response saying, “I got my baby soup on!”

I’m sure glad those ‘baby soups’ come in such small sizes.

Strange Consumables

Some years ago I read about Phil Johnson's love of odd edibles and was both elated and intrigued as I, too, love to eat 'different' foods.

Phil's culinary adventures include eating a slab O' hog in Italy, the stinky big daddy of all fruits - the spiny durian, a Marmite snack called 'swine mixture', and an amber-encased scorpion lolly pop. This is my kind of man.
[See Phil's blog 'Pyromaniac' here.]



Some of my odd eatings have included traditional Louisiana delights such as boiled crawfish, cracklins, boudin, pigs feet, and roasted nutria.

While in Mexico City on a business trip my dinner hosts decided to test my daring. Like Phil, that is usually a mistake as I will rarely if ever pass up my chance to eat a rarity. In this challenge it was a rainy season treat called 'escamoles'. Escamoles are ant larvae wrapped up like fajitas served with onions, sauce, and tortillas. They had the taste of earthy protein as each one was like a droplet of dirt encapsulated by a fleshy outside layer. My Mexican friends were delighted to see my hearty enthusiasm as we shared a cold cerveza in celebration of my newly found treat.

So to my friends from around the globe who are reading this I say to you, EXPAND your palates! Dive into other cultures by consuming the wonderful dishes that the world has to offer you and when you eat, eat well, and eat strangely!