The New American Prayer

Oh, All-powerful and All-knowing higher entity-person for which we have no agreed upon name!

We bow our heads before your unknown essence and pray to you/he/she/it in a moment of silence because we know that we have been given nothing of certainty by which we can know you or your purpose, ability, and character.

We adore and praise all of your wondrous and indefinite attributes as we assume their existence because they make us feel better about our world and ourselves as we act spiritually in prayer.

We thank you, and perhaps even ourselves, for creating this world and all that is in it, which stands as an incredibly vague and mysterious monument to the glory of none.

Please forgive us All-powerful and All-knowing higher entity-person for calling you by so many various names and essences as we respect your right to be as undistinguished as possible.

Help us each day to live our lives in an honoring way according to the corruptively ambiguous and contradictory collective writings that we advanced primates uphold as divine.

Amen.

© 2005 Munkeyfu Madness